THE BACKSTORY
In October of 2019, I decided I had finally had it with my long-time career trajectory.
When I graduated from college in 2008, I got lucky with entry-level gig in public affairs. I had big dreams and bright eyes that saw opportunity and meaning. I believed in changing the political landscape, bringing forth smart policy and ideas with others, and helping businesses, organizations, and people with their own dreams and goals, to succeed.
As the years went on, the field I went into slowly began to ring hollow for me. No matter what area of the industry I pivoted to, I was unfulfilled. For me, and I’m only speaking for myself, it wasn’t the kind of space where hard work and smarts would lead to success.
In my first “last straw” attempt, I went back to the company that I got lucky with, hoping that bringing back the skills I gained after moving on from that first gig would reignite my spirit and everything I had hoped for and believed at the start of my career.
It didn’t. Instead, six months in I was over it. Every day and every client made me feel like I was selling my soul for a quick buck. I couldn’t be true to myself and couldn’t give honest advice and feedback to business leaders, policymakers, or even my colleagues. I was busting my butt for people who didn’t know how to adapt to changing economies and innovations – people and industries that continued to do the same thing repeatedly because it was comfortable. It also all seemed, surface level. It struck me as egotistical. It felt even more meaningless now than ever before.
My disdain for the work was palpable and we parted ways. I made the first version of this business plan, focused on my role as President of the Women’s Political Caucus of Washington, and took on short-term projects and odd jobs.
Then a global pandemic changed everything for everyone. It was not the right time for a brick-and-mortar space. As I adapted with the rest of the world, a seat in the State Legislature became available. An elected position is supposed to be the epitome of success in a politico’s career trajectory. Trusted friends in politics told me this was my time and to go for the seat, so I did. I was appointed, I ran to retain it, and won a two-year term.
Yet, that decision still centered on what the world expected, not what I wanted – not what gave me joy and meaning. I battled through the appointment process, the campaign experience, a virtual legislative session, and a hybrid session.
All of it continued to illustrate that people in politics are deeply traumatized and traumatizing others in their fight to get to whatever top they see. And, that the state Capitol is just as toxic as it was in 2022 as it was when I was there in 2013, 2016, and 2018. And probably, just as toxic as it was when the state was founded in 1889. There are good people in this space, but it tends to attract miserable people who further add to a miserable experience.
I almost ran again. I felt like I owed it to, someone? Being in public office is deemed one of the greatest honors. Children are told to dream about becoming President of the United States of America. But it never struck me as any fun. Does anyone think the Clintons, Obama, Trump, Biden, or Harris look like they are enjoying any part of it? And the reality is, every single person needs to own the current state of politics. Public service is hard and not at all rewarding, especially these days.
But back to this story…When I really got to the heart of what I wanted in life, it was this: sustainability. Living a life that I could sustain and one that could sustain me. A life that helped others get there, too. Because when we’re all lifting each other up, when we’re all living a life we can manage – one that gives us joy, we create a better world for everyone.
I’m thankful to every individual who helped me get here, and for finally being able to listen to and feel, my core.
